For a very long time I was unable to grasp and hold on to the concept of the LOVE that God has for me. The idea of “unconditional” love–love without a grudge, without pain, without reneging–was incomprehensible tomfoolery! Being asked to truly love someone without pondering whether or not it was worth my time or the pain was an impossible request.
Because I could not fathom God’s Love, I certainly was unable to absolutely love and accept others. Love, for me, was one of the scariest thoughts imaginable. Who, in their right mind, would give themselves, fully, without boundaries, to someone else? Why would you want to be vulnerable and open with someone that could potentially hurt you in the long run? Everyone in my life was suspect whether they were a parent, sibling, child, husband or friend! Hence, everyone had to remain at arm’s length–always.
I have come to understand that a life without love is a life full of fear and punishment. In a way, the punishment was a way of saying, “Because you hurt me, I’m going to do this to you so that you will never hurt me again!” Or perhaps, “Because you rejected me, and I’m afraid that you will reject me again, I will put up a wall between you and I, so that I don’t have to feel this again!” Fear is a powerful monster that closes the door to receiving and giving Love!
Over the past few months I have allowed myself to pause and look closer at the Love that the Father has for me. Romans 5:8 began to speak to me and explain that God showed Love in action by demonstrating His Love. Talk is cheap…and actions speak louder than words. He demonstrated His Love regardless of my imperfections, mistaken identity (LOL!), doubt, and disobedience. As wild as I am, I know that he had to do a lot of demonstrating…and still does. The good news is, despite my inability, my pouting moments, my sheer insanity, and my rebelliousness (and all of that is on a good day), he is yet ACTIVELY loving me. He is, without fail, holding me close and singing over me. This was an outer-man breaking revelation in my life.
Love is POWERFUL and comprehending God’s love can unlock a new standard of living for those that are willing to take Him at his word!
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8